Abuse

Abuse. It is impossible to avoid this subject. Already this month I have heard several stories, met people and received information on abuse. Abuse operates on a constant basis, is all around each of us every day and as a result requires an answer. Abuse in nothing new. The bible is filled with examples of people who harm each other.

Abuse is behavior that crosses boundaries any person sets for their life. It can seem severe or slight but is always devastating. Anytime one person crosses boundaries set by another it is abuse. Abuse can be emotional, physical, spiritual or verbal.

Boundaries are the physical, emotional, spiritual, verbal action you will or will not allow. Children have personal boundaries but adults play God anyway. Children belong to God and are in our care. They are not toys or possessions for our own pride, lust and pleasure. They are precious to God, have boundaries and need to be respected. They instinctively know what hurts and shames. Please pay attention and treat them with respect and encourage others to do the same.

Child abuse signs:
Changed routines, acting differently, complains about activities or people they previously enjoyed, withdraws from parents, with draws from friends, bathroom difficulty, bed wetting, daytime accidents, increased moodiness or depression, increases aggressive behavior, decline in academic performance, difficulties with peers, increases sexual behavior.

How children feel: Fear, shame, low self image, guilty, thought they should have fought harder, think it is their fault, think they caused the abuse, fear parents wont love them any more, wont talk about it.

How can a parent or adult help? Listen, allow feelings, remove shame, don't be shocked or say you should have, offer unconditional acceptance, love, value. Don't pry but encourage as much conversation and communication as possible. Get professional help.

Emotional abuse: Anything that creates uneasy, hurtful response in your feelings through another who crosses your boundary.
Examples: They steel your time, they call or send unwanted messages, they infringe on your activities, they dig into your heart, possessive, verbal harm, they become baggage in your life, they make you tired, they don't take no for an answer and much more. Emotionally draining people suck the life out of you and do and say things that hurt your heart.

Spiritual abuse: Anyone who uses the word of God to control, shame,or lead another into uneasy hurtful response or situations.
Example: "God told me you were to do this. The Bible says..... so you have to...." Anytime the word of God is used against another to get them into a specific frame of mind to do or say anything that goes against their personal boundaries.

Verbal abuse: Words that shame, hurt, destroy, lie and lead another into destructive feelings.
Examples: One who rants, rages, raves to or around another. Negative, shame filled verbiage against another. Name calling, ridicule, fear talk, threats.

Physical abuse: Anyone who beats, rapes, molests, neglects responsibilities or crosses physical boundaries set.
Examples: Neglect physical provision for children or others in their care, slap, hit, rape, molest, beat. In appropriate roughhousing, wrestling, tickling, touching, hugging, or lap holding beyond a boundary.

The information in the blog today is only the tip of the ice berg. Those who abuse have been abused and the cycle just continues. Let's try to bring it to an end in our own individual personal world. Jesus Christ is the only one who can help those who abuse and those abused.

Remember you DO have the right and power to place any type of boundaries you want to place for your personal life. You must place the boundary. Take care of the little person inside you and while your at it help innocent children around you who do not have the power to protect themselves

Helpful Books: Mending the Soul book and work book by

Steven R Tracy.
Their ministry is called Mending the Soul. It is in the Phoenix, Arizona area.

Matt:9:11-13; Heb 4:11; John 10:10; Ecc. 4:9-10; Eph 4:26; Rom 8:28; Psm 51:6; Dan 2:22 Matt. ll: 28-30; Jerm. 29:11-14; Rom 10:13; 1 Thess 5:11